Every week I go over the top five things that pissed me me off. Enjoy as I ramble on about things a normal human being would simply learn to tolerate and live with.
1. Auto companies. Really? You already need more money? Obama has barley been president for a month and you're already hitting him up for more money? You ever have a family member ask you for money, only to call you right back and ask for even more? Like the first check hasn't even cleared yet and this guy wants more. Here's a clue. Stop spending absurd amounts of money on your own old greedy asses and take a pay cut of your own, rodger goodell just did it, I doubt you'll notice that insted of making 80 million you're only gonna make 60 so a few more people can keep their jobs and we can get this abysmal economy back on track.
2. Alex Rodriguez - your cousin injected you with "a mysterious substance"? Every time someone sticks a hypodermic needle and injects me, I make sure to ask just JUST WHAT THE FUCK IT IS BEFORE HAND. I really feel sorry for guys like griffey and greg maddox who went their careers without juicing and were more than capiable of hanging around and put up hall of fame numbers and yet don't get talked about nearly as much. Baseball is seriously fucked when a guy who is the highest paid player in the history of team sports is accused of juicing.
3. Fried Food - you know, for something so delicious you know it's going to be bad for you, and the chow hall I'm forced to go to serves primarily fried food in many forms: shrimp, catfish, corn, french fries, onion rings, some weird bastardization of an egg roll consisting of carrots, peas, and green beans all together. I love french fries, but there is a point where you feel your blood moving and you know its gotten bad. Not everythink needs to be flash cooked in greasei for one have been trying to eat healthier as part of my new years resolution (I might be the only person on earth who follows through with them) and mens health provides some awesome recepies and nutritional facts about some foods at the supermarket that are pretty helpful for trying to shed some poundage, recepies I may be posting to the blog (like baked maple honey bacon).
4. Wal-Mart - maybe the most redneck shopping outlet on earth next to bass pro shop, I saw a kids bow and arrow set and thought long and hard about the implications of a childrens instrument of death. I wear camoflague and shoot guns for a living and was scared a little.
5. The ENTIRE state of Tennessee- I make fun of Lendale White a lot, but, I think I might do it less after being in this shithole state for two weeks, or I might do it more, I dunno, I'm gonna play this one by ear, two days ago it was in the 70's which is comfortable for me, the next day it was 47, and this morning it was 18, if this trens continues it'll be -50 when I leave, while that temperature has never been recorded in the continental US I'm confident it will occur because clearly god hates this state. I think the army has a hardon for sending me to shitty places, Georgia, south carolina, missouri, and now this. For my floridian readers I will describe to you what Tennessee is, you know those streaches of the turnpike where there is nothing except for a gas station and the home of the guy who owns the gas station? Imagine an entire state of that and then memphis which is like jacksonville except smellier if you can imagine
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment