The only Good Thing About Your City (Cities): Edmonton, Calgary, Vancouver, Montreal

Part two in an ongoing series I'm just gonna go ahead and finish Canada. Who cares, an entire country named Doug and Janet. poutine is gross by the way. Starting with canada may have been boring, considering there aren't any NFL teams for me to hate, and the only city with an MLB team or NBA team was Toronto, but it's best I got this out of the way ASAP

National Hockey League:

Montreal Canadians: One of the "original six" The Canadians have won more stanley cups than any other team in the NHL (24) despite not having won one in sixteen years. The Canadians are responsible for the monster that is Patrick Roy, when Roy was a rookie he was the goalie for their stanley cup winning team in 1986. In the 2004-05 season they adopted Youppi, the former mascot of the then recently departed Expos, and equally as boring, their former mascots were the children of players or management.

Calgary Flames: Now, depending who you ask, the flames either started as the Calgary Tigers in 1921 or the Atlanta Flames in 1972. Either way they are one of two teams situated in the province of alberta, the other being the Edmonton oilers, who I'll get to later. Staying on the Mascot bandwagon, the Flames are responsible for the NHL's first mascot, Harvey the Hound, because canadians are boring you see, What a dog has to do with fire, I don't know, maybe they doused him in gasoline and lit him on fire before throwing him from a speeding car on a freeway, or maybe it was some epic foreshadowing of Mike Vick, who knows. The flames have won a stanley cup in the 88-89 season and made an unexpected run to the cup in 2004 causing then Canadian Prime Minister Paul Martin to dub them "Canada's Team", oh good, an analogy to the Dallas Cowboys, there's your reason to hate them.

Edmonton Oilers: If you count years in the WHA (World Hockey Association, and don't worry I don't) the Oilers were founded in 1971, however they officially became a NHL team in 1979, and proceeded to own the NHL's ass for the next half decade. Responsible for introducing the world to the likes of Wayne Gretzky, Mark Messier, Paul Coffey and Grant Fuhr. Now if only they could find some players in the present...

Vancouver Canucks: I give those canadians one thing, they sure are crafty when it comes to coming up with names for their teams. Canadians, Canucks, hell, why not just name one of your teams "People who live north of the US" it's like you people don't even try. They were on the lucky end of what many people call "the worst trade in the history of the NHL, EVER". Trading away Todd Burtuzzi, Alex Auld, and Bryan allen to the Florida Panthers for Roberto Luongo (Luongo still plays for the canucks, while none of the three still play for the Panthers). The Canucks are one of thirteen teams who haven't won a stanley cup.

Well, glad that whole country is over. Now onto the greatest country in the world, and to start it off, This worst fanbase in the entire country, that's right: Boston.

The Only Good Thing About Your City (Cities): Ottawa, Toronto, Montreal

This is the first entry in a series of posts that I plan on making that will cover all 122 Teams in the four major sports leagues (NFL, MLB, NBA, NHL) hehe. MLS, that's cute. This first post I planned on just doing the city of Ottawa, then I realized they only had one team, which makes for a boring post. So I decided to expand it to the whole Province of Ottawa. Canada, catch the excitement!

The province of Ottawa is home to Four major sports teams. From what I gather a province is a goofy canadian version of a state, so they're basically the New York of Canada. Toronto and the city of Ottawa all reside in this province, which, more or less makes my argument valid. From what I hear Toronto is a pretty awesome place, I'll never know because I'm a red-blooded, capitalism loving american. Now, onto the teams!

Major League Baseball.
Toronto Blue Jays- Formed In 1977 The Blue Jays are now the only MLB team in Canada, with the former Montreal Expos moving to Washington DC in 2004. They have two World Series victories in 1992 and 1993 Defeating The Philadelphia Phillies and The Atlanta Braves.

National Basketball League.
Toronto Raptors- Formed in 1995 The Raptors are the only NBA team in Canada, with the former Vancouver Grizzlies moving to Memphis in 2001 (history kind of repeating itself there huh?). The Raptors were Famous for drafting Vince Carter in the 1998 Draft After his Six year Tenure he departed in 2004 and Chris Bosh has emerged as not only a Team Leader, but one of the premier players in the league. It's a shame really, because no one pays attention to any professional sports in Canada.

National Hockey League

I included the NHL because I happen to like hockey, but I have no Illusions that the majority of my readers have the same feeling toward the sport: "meh".

Toronto Maple Leafs- One of the "Original Six" The Toronto Maple Leafs have won eleven Stanley Cups are are bitter Rivals with cross, ugh, provincial rivals The Montreal Canadians. I really can't say much about the Maple Leafs, I mean, um, Mike Myers is a pretty big fan and made his terrible, terrible movie The Love Guru pretty much about the team. So, that's reason enough to hate them.

Ottawa Senators- The Current iteration of the Senators have been around since 1992, and have been one of the most successful franchises during their history, qualifying for the playoffs in 11 of the past 12 years and having one of the league's highest attendance numbers (around 19,000 per game, which is more than most Jacksonville Jaguars games....)

Woo! four down one hundred and eighteen more to go! Tomorrow: The rest of Canada! Getting America's hat out of the way!

Hey, New York, Fuck You!

Alright: Fuck You Joe Girardi, you half crazy fuck, oh you're such a genius manager! Really? half of your team is former all stars from other teams. A monkey could be the manager for the yankees and they could win a pennant. You're an appendix, your position may have once served a purpose, but has since become useless.

Fuck You Hideki Matsui. You're a DH, which is a polite way of telling you "you're old and we don't want you in the field, but here, you can hit for our pitcher" speaking of which

Fuck you Mariano Rivera. "the greatest world series closer of all time" hard to debate that, I'll give you that, but you know what, FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

Fuck You Johnny Damon: you look like the missing link you ugly fuck.

Fuck You Derek Jeter: Captain of the yankees, is like saying "King of douches"

Fuck You Alex Rodriguez: you suck out luod in the playoffs, just be glad Ryan Howard decided he didn't wanna do shit otherwise you'd be fucked.

Fuck You Mark Texera: You're a former brave and angel. I don't need a reason to hate you, you've given my two already.

Fuck You Joba Chamberlain: You tubby fuck, have fun eating your weight in cream cheese after the game.

and the final fuck you.

Fuck You Yankees Fans: god you people are annoying, I take that back, Fair-weather and bandwagon fans are annoying, Knowing plenty of people who are misplaced New Yorkers who live in florida, quite a few of you were rooting for the Rays last season. we have 27 world championships, yeah, well you have two in the past decade, where were you people when you were playing like shit and blowing 3-0 playoff leads to the Red Sox and making those fans insufferable? I blame you fucks for that shit. Fuck You, hard. I hope you people get turned into a Human Centipede

My Lawyers made me change the title of this entry so I wouldn't get sued

I'm all settled in here on my little slice of desolate isolated desert. I have a somewhat steady internet connection and my kindle, thing's could be worse a lot worse. I may have set myself up for failure, last time the army peeled me away from the world I severed ties with a girl who had done me no wrong and was perfectly happy being with me. I however was not content with being so far away from someone for so long all the while having thoughts and feelings for them. I deemed that person was non-essential to my success while I was gone and in spite of several attempts to rekindle some kind of relationship, it always failed. Sometimes life is just funny like that. Now here I find my self even farther away from another girl and yet have feelings I can't even explain. I know I've never felt this way for another person in my entire life. The similarities between us and our interests are far too striking to cast aside as mere coincidence. As it stands, she is a girl who I have longed for as far back as I can remember, nothing more nothing less, I made a rule on this blog to never mention names except for joe's and well, im clearly not talking about him and I won't break that rule. I wont even name drop other vastly more successful bloggers who've mentioned me and or read this blog. Simply cause I don't wanna sound like a sycophantic douche, general asshole douche i can live with, but the riding of others coattails is well, for lack of a better word, gay. I guess what im trying to say is I'm happy that I've found someone who i can simply talk to and feel awesome about, but at the same time I feel like the decision I made three years ago may have been self-serving, but it was one of a 18 year old kid who didn't know how to handle things and quite honestly wasn't willing to be a man in spite of a daunting challenge that laid ahead of him. now here I stand three years older and having learned from mistakes willing to make a leap into something that could have huge dividends (a lifetime of happiness) or could blow up in my face (rejection without alcohol and my closer friends to cheer me up). Either way, This deployment has done more to me than I think I realize.

Week In Sucktitude: Week 1

44 weeks since I've been able to talk about the NFL. fuck there's a lot of backage here, It's only week 1 and it seems like the whole league Is ready to end the season tomorrow, ARE YOU FUCKING INSANE?!?! GO HUG A CLAYMORE KURT WARNER. Between The Bengals D allowing Neckbeard to hook up with Brandon Stokley for an 89 yard score and the Panthers Special teams to allow DeSean Jackson to return a punt for 85 Yards for another score. Between those two plays and Pat White singlehandedly killing the wildcat, week 1 sure had some suck moments, like Brady Quinn's Garo Yepremain-esque fumble/throw. Byron Leftwich's 12 second release, and the Rams forgetting to even show up, Something I realized last night, We're one matt schaub papercut away from seeing Rex "sex cannon" Grossman in Texans' blue (or red). This week's Suckiest Player: Jake Delhomme 4 picks and 1 fumble resulting in 24 points for the eagles. Way to make fans want to see Luke McCown over you. oh he got hurt. Then began the Matt Moore era in Carolina. Good thing for you the panthers don't have any fans, just people waiting till college basketball starts again.
BONUS!Street Fighter II edition Aaron Rodgers

SHROYUKEN

50 songs I like

hell, joe is an under achiever, besides americans love round numbers (43? WTF you commie) This list isn't in order of appreciation, they're just 50 songs I enjoy listening to

1. Brand New "At The Bottom"
A friend of mine told me listening to this new album would require some adjusting, she was dead wrong.

2. Clipse "Mamma I'm so sorry"
Pusha T and Malice are maybe my two favorite rappers, Clipse is the Virginia Soundtrack

3. Cobra Starship "I may be rude but I'm the truth"
It's not the best song on their new album by a long shot, but the lyrical content was described to me as "Brad's Theme Song" by a friend. Couldn't be more true.

4. Common "Universal Mind Control"
As a Solo artist Common may be the best rapper out right now

5. David Rush "Shooting star ft. LMFAO, Kevin Rudolph, Pitbull"
Kevin Rudolph's hook backed by LMFAO's beat is pretty much the best part of this song, the video is pretty good as well

6. A Day to Remember "If It means a lot to you"
ADTR might be your stereotypical hardcore band, but their slow songs are hauntingly relatable (at least for me) the lyrics of this one work for someone who's deployed (like yours truly)

7. Fall Out Boy "The (Shipped) Gold Standard "
This album is pretty sub-par as a whole, but this song stands out as a throw back to "Take This To Your Grave"

8. The Format "Dog Problems"
The fall of 2007 I was stationed at Fort Eustis VA. I met a girl there who I thought at the time was the most awesome person ever, she made at least 4 other guys feel that way on my floor. yeah.

9. Incubus "Stellar"
my favorite Incubus song, inspite of the lyrics making absolutely no sense.

10. Jimmy Eat World "The Authority Song"
This album came out when I was in middle school, I will still listen to it more than 3OH3!, fuck that band sucks.

11. John Mayer "Why Georgia"
I've honestly felt like that song described my first semester in college, I wanted to go home every day and I second guessed almost everything I did.

12. Justin Timberlake "lovestoned/I Think she knows"
house party anthem that I play when I would clean my apartment

13. Kid Cudi "Day and Night"
when the fuck is this album coming out? every song cudi has a guest appearance on someone's CD becomes my favorite on that album.

14. Kanye West "Welcome to heartbreak ft. Kid cudi"
case and point, only real good song on that CD, mainly cause it's not yeezey singing

15. The Killers "All these Things I've Done"
I wrote "I've got soul but im not a soldier" on my cleats in Hs football, now I have no soul and I'm a soldier, funny how that worked out.

16. lil' Wayne "Shooter"
so The Carter 2 may be better than The Carter 3, who cares, weezy address critics and has Robin Thicke backing him up. classic track.

17. Ludacris "Welcome to Atlanta"
Jermaine Dupree is terrible at rapping, this is no secret.

18. MGMT "Electric Feel"
I think every hipster party I went to played this song, katy perry did a horrendious cover of it, but she openly kisses girls so it's hard to fault her on anything really

19. Muse "Supermassive Black Hole"
My sister told me this song was used in Twilight, there is a reason why I won't be buying the new Muse CD

20. New Found Glory "Hit or Miss"
I bought this CD back in middle school and it was one of three that I've had break due to over use, Blink 182's dude ranch and the godzilla Soundtrack, why I'm admitting to the third one is beyond me.

21. The offspring "The Meaning of life"
The offspring will forever hold as place in my heart, Klosterman has Kiss, Joe has NOFX, I have The Offspring

22. Panic! at the disco "The only difference between martyrdom and suicide is press coverage"
Panic! is the lyrical little sister to Fall Out Boy (this is no secret) im convinced if FOB put out a power pop album (semantics) no one would be able to tell the diffrence

23. Pearl Jam "Alive"
heh, pearl Jam means semen, now you know, and knowing is half the battle

24. Pharrell "Number one (ft. Kanye West)
Pharrell's solo albums never do as well as albums he's helped produce why is this? throw back to when kanye was just being a douche, not a singing douche

25. The Postal Service "against all odds"
Phill collins cover? Check electronic feedback? check eardrums blown due to the first 1:22 of listening to that? check and check

26. Queens of the Stone Age "Sick, Sick, Sick"
Drew Magary of KSK once claimed that this CD rocks so much face (im paraphrasing at best) I dunno what that means and yet here I am agreeing with him

27. Rage Against the Machine "Guerilla Radio"
despite being a K-mart Che, Zach de la rocha's final lines in this song served as a pre-game huddle speech for me once.

28. Say Anything "We Killed it"
I remember being dumped last semester and reverting to being a recluse who barely left his apartment and thinking this song would have been playing

29. Secret handshake "Summer of '98"
I sent this song to a girl l like who happens to live in texas, she still talks to me, could be a good sign

30. Silversun Pickups "It's nice to know you work alone"
I actually like the new album, I have nothing else about this song other than it's pretty good

31. Smashing Pumpkins "The beginning is the end is the beginning" inspite of being the theme song for watchmen and a batman movie, it still retains some credibility as a standard late 90's pumpkins song

32. T.I. "What You Know"
I remember Lake Worth High selling a bunch of T.I inspired Trojan shirts during basketball season, i wanted to shove downa nd step on the spine of any white kid I saw wearing one.

33. Third Eye Blind "jumper"
If this song doesn't bring a tear to your eye your heart has to be made of ice

34. Thom Yorke "The Eraser"
for those introverted moments

35. Thrice "Digital Sea"
bands like thrice I have major respect for due to their willingness to step outside what they normally do and try something different, and when it actually works, well, then consider myself a fan.

36. Thursday "signals over the air"
I have a habit of listening to my fair share of emo, why? cause fuck you that's why.

37. Yeah Yeah Yeahs "Zero"
Karen O might be insane. I hear she also sleeps with random fans, one reason to continue to listen to them.

38. Birdman and lil wayne "Army Gunz"
you have to be pretty arrogant (or uninspired) to sample yourself

39. Blink 182 "Shut up"
I remember when I first heard Blink was gonna name a Cd "Take off your pants and jacket" I had to explain the name slowly to my girlfriend at the time, she just did that upward nod and went ohhhh im farily confident she thought I had autism.

40. Bloc Party "Helicopter"
when I first got my xbox 360 the only game I had was project gotham racing 3, this was the only song I could will myself to listen to on that game, fucking euros and their electronica

41. The Fall of Troy "Act one, Scene one"
I remember I didn't care much fo this song but my sister loved it, it grew on me, I wish i could scream though.

42. Paramore "Misery business"
the only song with female vocals I have no shame singing along to

43. Gym Class heroes "Taxi Driver" if you can Identify more than four bands mentioned in that song we were probably friends in high school

44. Brand New "I will play my game beneath the spin light"
"if looks could really kill then my profession would be staring" christ, jessey lacey has angst

45. Jay -Z "Death of Autotune (D.O.A.)"
maybe the only good song on the new album

46. Postal Service "nothing better"
this duet with Jenny Lewis was a staple of many of my attempts in vain of salvaging relationships

47. Say anything "Yellow cat (slash) red cat"
being a lazy and otherwise unproductive person (when not in uniform) this song has described many a day for me

48. Jack Johnson "better together"
My mother and I have had a duet of this song on many a car ride. my mommy > your entire family

49. Fall Out Boy "I've got this ringing in my ears and none on my fingers"
As someone who has no current desire to ever marry the title of this song works as well as the actual lyrics themselves

50. Brand New "Degausser"
I have this song tattooed on me I love it so much

I only hurt the ones I love, myself

holy shit on a pita has a lot happened since I last posted up here. I'm deployed now, and thanks to the OPSEC brief I got I'm not gonna go into detail where I am, there are sand and camels though, so, there's that. I acquired (read: got my mom and dad to buy me) a kindle, I've honeslty had it for three weeks and I've read seven books on it. Usually I go a few months between books, but this thing has got me hooked line and sinker. Obviously, I've read some Chuck Klosterman "killing yourself to live", "Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs", "Downtown Owl", I read Christmas Ape (from kissing suzy kolber)'s book "the football fan's manifesto" I read Marina Orlova's book "hot for words" for purley educational reasons, a much long overdue reading of maddox's "Alphabet of Manliness", UFC fighter Forrest Griffin's "Got Fight" a part how to part self help book, I also went back and re read what was mine and joe's bible in high school "I hope they serve beer in hell" (Ed note: god does the movie look terrible, way to ruin a good memory) My obsession with Dexter has me going back and reading the book series (the fourth novel was released two days ago). I started with Mad Men and find myself wanting more now drinking and smoking in the work place with subservient secretaries who are willing to sleep with you, the iTunes store is my pusher man, I am the fiend. Oh yeah, I'm 21 now. Better late then never, stupid birthing process and gestation cycle, way to make me of age in the middle of a war zone. oh well, there are worse things I suppose. RIght? oh god please tell me im right.

-Brad