Inner turmoil: Mango Salsa v. Roasted Garlic Hummus

I like dips. I'm into foods that are blended together into a paint to color my pallet in a delicious landscape that is flavor. I'm also at a crossroads. I'm unsure which is better. Mango Salsa is fucking delicious. whoever though to add a tropical fruit to a salsa mild in spice, was a genius. Optimally, The chip of choice would be a tostitos hint of lime tortilla chip. It's flavor allows for you to eat the salsa without the chip;s flavor overpowering it, but merely enhancing it with what one would be lead to believe is a missing ingredient. Mango salsa is the only salsa im convinced that one can either eat alone whilst working on a blog post, and as a party snack that helps as a conversation piece, normally no one mentions salsa at the party, it is a background food that blends in with the other chips and isn't even remembered after you take that first bite, but mango salsa, carries a sweet flavor that you do that eye squinting nod with a smile that says "you are in fact correct, this is good!"

Roasted Garlic Hummus is another dip entirely, the two beasts are like a polar bear and a Bengal Tiger, in nature they will never meet, the same can be said for roasted garlic hummus and mango salsa. hummus to the mass public is not a food that is well embraced, initially I was even unsure if mashed chickpeas would even be accepted by my tongue that serves as a preverbal tool booth operator to the highway that is my stomach, but I was soon convinced otherwise. Hummus ideally is served with pita chips, no frills though, the subtle tastes in hummus are thrown off by added effects like parmesan, tuscan herbs, or even more salt. Eating hummus does two things, either makes you sound like you are cultured and you are willing to try food from other cultures (bonus points if you've had falafel!) or you've got a beard and you have anxiety problems about other people (O hai!)

Brad Newton and Jason Segal, long lost...relatives? dopplegangers? whatever it is we're pretty much alike

Having sat around with nothing to do the past two weeks, I've been on a movies and TV binge. and during that time I realized something. I'm Jason Segal. Or rather I would have been had I been born eight years earlier, in LA and jewish. Segal co-stars in 'I love you, man' with Paul Rudd. I'm the writer of a somewhat successful blog, and im currently working on a novella titled 'closet geek'. Segal and I are both men of large builds who have some athletic talent and comedic talent to our charm, we are both also extremely huggable, or so im told. According to his wikipedia page several scenes from Forgetting Sarah Marshall were taken from real life, including his girlfriend breaking up with him while he was naked. I'm sortof a member of that elite club as I've had a girl tell me she never wants to see me again while I was nude. I also like 'How I Met Your Mother' Good show. Neil Patrick Harris and Alyson Hannigan are both in it. NPH is in Dr. Horrible's sing Along Blog which was written by Buffy creator Joss Whedon where the Character of Willow Rosenberg was played by none other than Alyson Hannigan a ha!...?

I really have no idea where that one degree of separation thing was going.....

Who are you again?

I changed the name of the blog, mainly cause I haven't had a hang over on a monday in a long time and I had always intended on changing the name as the initial one was a temporary name anyway. I don't really write about being drunk anymore either so the title hasn't been fitting for some time. I also like this name better anyway. that is all.

Your Move Bitch

Well, this spring break was about one thing. The sprit of competition. USA (me) v. Canada (Hunter). and I'm glad to report that as of midnight tonight. The US has emerged victorious. what's that? you're unaware of the competition? well. as anyone with an Xbox Live Gold account will tell you, few things are taken more seriously than one's gamer score. My roommate hunter and I have been neck and neck in gamer score all year long and the gauntlet was thrown down this week to see who's gamer score would prove higher at the end of the week. mine was a gaunt 13980 and his was a sizable 13605 . And as of midnight mine is 14774 and his is 14749. USA! USA! USA! USA! Now, I played 50 Cent: Blood in the sand and out of it I gained 680gp. Hunter, Played Dead Space and Fable 2 (my game btw). add to the fact that he's got Avatar the last airbender (bending air? but...oh i dont even know-ed), fuzion frenzy 2, and King Kong. 3 games that will give you 3000 points for simply playing through the entire game, no searching for x amnount of y, no play entire game on hardest difficulty, no, these games are simply for padding one's score. how can you take your score seriously if you have those three games, I mean, if you wanna be technical one could subtract 300gp from 14749 and you'd have 11749 and he'd be no where close, but no, as his host to this great country I must teach him that adversity is faced and overcome, so, I counted his cheaply earned 3000gp AND STILL FUCKING WON.

I feel prouder to be an american at this moment than any other moment in my life.

Enlisting in the army? fuck and yes

Obama being elected...? slightly, yes.

watching paris hilton go to jail in '07? mm toughie. yes.

As promised, part one in Brad Newton's "Recipes for disaster for an appetite for destruction for the enlightened connoisseur of foods"

well, a while ago I posted that along with the usual ranting and raving I do on here, I'd start posting up recipes for foods that I enjoy. Today I submit for your approval: New York Maple Pepper Bacon with a Pennsylvania Lager Glaze.

What you'll need:

16 slices thick-cut bacon

1 cup honey

1 cup maple syrup

2 cups Yuengling Lager

2 Tbsp Dijon Mustard

2 Tbsp Mustard powder

3 Tbsp Pepper

The Process:

Preheat the oven to 300 degrees Place parchment paper on a sheet pan and lay the bacon strips on it. Cover with another sheet of parchment paper. Bake for 15 Min. while all that is going on combine honey and maple syrup and boil it until it caramelizes. Add the beer and cook it until it's volume is reduced by half (this may take 10 min) add both mustards. Take the bacon from the oven and pour the mixture over top of the strips. return it to the oven for another 10 min. place on a plate covered with a paper towel and serve.

Makes 4 servings. (that's 4 strips for 1 serving, fatasses)

Next Week: Brad's Famous Mushroom dip. and Cornflake Chicken Drumsticks

Week in rage: what else can piss brad off

1. Tiger Woods- not too many people can find something wrong with tiger, I can though. What's that you say? He took a year off to heal from surgery? oh, well excuse me if new golfers have come onto the scene and the americans managed to win a Ryder Cup without him. oh he's back? well, he isn't, seeing as how he lost in the second round to Tim Clark. Go back to sleeping with your hot wife and putting your name on the three shittiest tasting Gatorades on the market. asshole.

2. NASCAR- how dare you hold a race on a sunday evening. do you realize what is normally supposed to be on fox on a sunday evening? pretty much the only reason to watch fox during the week period. look, rednecks hardly ever know what day of the week it is anyway, they have more pressing matters on their hands like, which sister to sleep with, or how to coordinate this mossy oak jacket with these wrangler jeans, and is cope straight better than skoal mint. I can sit here all day and talk about how boring nascar is cause all they do is take left turns and how it's technically not a sport at all blah blah blah but really I just wanna watch my simpsons, family guy, and american dad, occasionally king of the hill has something good on, but these days it's hit or miss. I'd rather be raped by Billy Mays for three hours than watch a NASCAR race.

3. Brian Dawkins- well, not really, I could never be mad at BDawk, the eagles front office though I can at no end. all it takes is one entry into youtube and you can see the impact Dawk brings onto the field, he really is Logan, he's a wolverine, Weapon fucking X. I'll miss him, and later on in the season when the Eagles play the Broncos and Brent Celek goes down field and burns him for a 22 yard catch, I'll be happy, but at the same time seeing dawk in that orange and blue will make me feel like i just watched someone drop-kick a puppy into a flaming chainsaw factory.