Saturday, November 7, 2009

The only Good Thing About Your City (Cities): Edmonton, Calgary, Vancouver, Montreal

Part two in an ongoing series I'm just gonna go ahead and finish Canada. Who cares, an entire country named Doug and Janet. poutine is gross by the way. Starting with canada may have been boring, considering there aren't any NFL teams for me to hate, and the only city with an MLB team or NBA team was Toronto, but it's best I got this out of the way ASAP

National Hockey League:

Montreal Canadians: One of the "original six" The Canadians have won more stanley cups than any other team in the NHL (24) despite not having won one in sixteen years. The Canadians are responsible for the monster that is Patrick Roy, when Roy was a rookie he was the goalie for their stanley cup winning team in 1986. In the 2004-05 season they adopted Youppi, the former mascot of the then recently departed Expos, and equally as boring, their former mascots were the children of players or management.

Calgary Flames: Now, depending who you ask, the flames either started as the Calgary Tigers in 1921 or the Atlanta Flames in 1972. Either way they are one of two teams situated in the province of alberta, the other being the Edmonton oilers, who I'll get to later. Staying on the Mascot bandwagon, the Flames are responsible for the NHL's first mascot, Harvey the Hound, because canadians are boring you see, What a dog has to do with fire, I don't know, maybe they doused him in gasoline and lit him on fire before throwing him from a speeding car on a freeway, or maybe it was some epic foreshadowing of Mike Vick, who knows. The flames have won a stanley cup in the 88-89 season and made an unexpected run to the cup in 2004 causing then Canadian Prime Minister Paul Martin to dub them "Canada's Team", oh good, an analogy to the Dallas Cowboys, there's your reason to hate them.

Edmonton Oilers: If you count years in the WHA (World Hockey Association, and don't worry I don't) the Oilers were founded in 1971, however they officially became a NHL team in 1979, and proceeded to own the NHL's ass for the next half decade. Responsible for introducing the world to the likes of Wayne Gretzky, Mark Messier, Paul Coffey and Grant Fuhr. Now if only they could find some players in the present...

Vancouver Canucks: I give those canadians one thing, they sure are crafty when it comes to coming up with names for their teams. Canadians, Canucks, hell, why not just name one of your teams "People who live north of the US" it's like you people don't even try. They were on the lucky end of what many people call "the worst trade in the history of the NHL, EVER". Trading away Todd Burtuzzi, Alex Auld, and Bryan allen to the Florida Panthers for Roberto Luongo (Luongo still plays for the canucks, while none of the three still play for the Panthers). The Canucks are one of thirteen teams who haven't won a stanley cup.

Well, glad that whole country is over. Now onto the greatest country in the world, and to start it off, This worst fanbase in the entire country, that's right: Boston.

1 comment:

Joe Costa said...

Worst trade in the history of anything, EVER***