Bawh-stun, as the native pronounce their city, has four storied franchises, storied for their dominating play, overall team effort, and generating a fan base so insufferable that I wish the DoD sent me there to take care of that problem over the one we have oversees. Wanna know why you should hate this particular section of america so much? espnboston.com that's why. The city holds 32 world championships, and yet they feel like there is some bias against all their teams to quote tommy from quinsy "NO ONE DENIES THIS!"
Major League Baseball:
Boston Red Sox- Remember how earlier I said the Florida Panthers trading Roberto Luongo was the wort trade in the shitory of hockey? Well, many people regard the Trade of Babe Ruth for the off-broadway play No, No, Nanette the worst trade in the history of sport. After the sale of Ruth, the sox would be plagued by the imaginary "curse of the bambino" for the next 86 years the most polarizing example of this was during the 1986 world series where Mookie Wilson hit a ground ball between Bill Buckner's legs. The "curse" ended with a shitty Jimmy Fallon rom-com.
National Hockey League
Boston Bruins- Saying the Bruins are the most likable team in boston is on par with asking what is your favorite terminal disease. The Bruins have been around since 1924 and have won the Stanley Cup five times. In 1966 the Bruins had what may people consider the greatest hockey player of all time: Bobby Orr. Orr would be credited for revolutionizing the defenseman position and be named MVP of both stanley cups he won with the Bruins, To this day he is the only defenseman to win the NHL's season scoring title. Orr, coincidently, was the last captain for the Bruins to win a stanley cup.
National Basketball League:
Boston Celtics-Founded in 1946 their 17 Championships are the most in the NBA. Bill Russel became the first African-American to be in a NBA starting line up in 1964. In 1979 the celtics drafted Indiana State forward Larry Bird, for the next decade him and Michigan State point guard Magic Johnson would represent the most anticipated matchup in the NBA. Once Bird retired the celtics went from a once proud franchise to the epitome of suck and it would take a complete team overhaul and the addition of Kevin Garnett for them to win another Finals series. Bird's last Championship with the Celtics was 1986, it wouldn't be for another 22 years when KG arrived that they would win again.
National Football League
New England Patriots- Contrary to many of their fans belief, they existed well before 1992. 1960 was the actual year the Boston Patriots were founded as an AFL franchise. This team is what many people believe to be the source of the epidemic that is "Massholes" that is the insufferable boston area sports team that has a unshakable belief that their teams are vastly superior to all others and that anytime they lose some cruel injustice has been wrought on the world, need solid proof of the massholes existence? listen to a Bill Simmons podcast, or read one of his columns, he will speak to no end his profound love of his boston teams. Also, Bill Belichick might be satan, or at least a shareholder in haliburton.
Honestly, I held back berating these teams, The two I find it easiest to hate are the sox and pats, and that's mostly do to the intolerability of their fan bases, if there was some state-sponsored genocide of the fans of those teams I would sign up to be one of the executioners in a heart beat just so I would never have to deal with their collective stupidity ever again.
Alright, so, after this post it now puts me at having done 12 out of 122 teams only 110 more to go! or until I die of exhaustion!
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