Women are a funny abstract concept. At first glance they have boobs, and boobs are awesome. they also contain the ability to turn raw food into something I can eat. Which is also awesome. often times they often smell better than you and if you play your cards right your sheets can wind up having that same scent. Play 'em wrong, and they'll smell exactly like hand lotion. you walk a fine line when you're around them, at all times the things you say, the way you say them, the way you position your body when you said them, if you've said them while clean shaven, if the tip of your penis poking out of the top of your pants when you've said them, all of these things are being calculated the very same way a major league manager calculates his starting line up.
At the front are the sure things, in baseball you want a leadoff guy with a high batting average, the same when you're talking to girls, if you use a overused pickup line that's like drag bunting right to the pitcher, you've failed and you shold be beaten when you head back to the dugout, maybe someone has already gone a head and spit their dip out in your glove.
In the middle are your power hitters, you want to hit a home run with whatever it his you've got here, a ground rule double might get you a handjob though. dont swing too hard and strike out thought, although, if you're Ryan Howard you more than likley will, or hit right into a shift and cause a double play, causing you and one of your friends not to get laid.
The last few batters are there for asthetic reasons, they might produce a hit here and there, might even get a few runs in, after all, it was Pedro Feliz who hit in the game winning RBI for the phillies in the world series, not Chase Utley, and look at that guy, any number of women want to have sex with him on any given night.
so there you have it. Women are a lot like major league managers, their job is so easy that they even had player-managers in the 70's and 80's being a manager I can imagine is a lot like being the night shift manager at a grocrey store. sure, you're put in charge, but your job is basically done for you. All you gotta do is make sure timmy in the deli section isn't playing bologna hammer again and your job is safe for at least four or five years. (unless you're willy randolph, they'll just stop scheduling you and wont give you a straight reason why).
-Bnew
they said they saw it coming
