Pittsburgh is home to three pro sports teams (technically The Pirates do count).
National Football League (NFL)
Pittsburgh Steelers- Founded in 1933 The Steelers have 6 Super Bowl Championships. Chuck Noll was the coach from 1969 till 1992. That is mind boggling. Although, winning four Super Bowls sorta keeps your job secure. Sure, there was The Immaculate Reception, The Steel Curtain, Franco Harris, "Mean" Joe Green, and Terry Bradshaw's balding scalp. Jump past Bill Cower coaching the team for 13 years, The whole Jerome Bettis era, and jump to the here and now. The steelers have won two super bowls and have successfully beaten three assault charges brought on two of their star players, (Although, Santonio Holmes is now a Jet, he was still a Steeler at the time of the allegations) For all the things Ben Roethlisberger has done or has been accused of doing over the past few years (turning himself into a human torpedo into the windshield of a car, quite possibly groping two women) people just kinda laugh it off because it's Big Ben, the guy looks harmless, like you could give the guy a cookie and read him a bed time story, like you'd have to tell him to not eat paste, like he'd be a shoe in for a gold in any number of special olympics events, almost like the guy is a functioning retard.
Major League Baseball (MLB)
Pittsburgh Pirates- Having joined the majors in 1980 you shouldn't really be surprised to learn that The Pirates have in fact won a world series (I was!) five actually. 1909, 1925, 1960, 1971, 1979. Roberto Clemente was a Pirate from 1954 till 1972, having hit 3,000 hits in his career, he died in a plane crash, he was instantly added to the hall of fame. 1979 is memorable because of the use of "We Are Family" by Philadelphia (ed note: !) based disco group Sister Sledge. Any year since has been memorable, because teams circle games played vs The Pirates as games they really have no excuse for losing.
National Hockey League (NHL)
Pittsburgh Penguins- I seethe at the thought of this team, I get violently angry just thinking about them, Sidney Crosby and his stupid face, his overall "I'm entitled to be good at this game, fuck you, I'm gonna flop around and cry if I don't get my way because I'm the new face of the league" attitude. Anyways, Founded in 1967 as part of the league's initial expansion from the original six, to twelve teams, The Penguins really didn't get competitive (read: relevant) until the 1990's. In 1983 The Penguins drafted the most important play in their franchise's history, Mario Lemieux. Lemieux would play from 1983-94, 95-97, 2000-06. He's now the principal owner and chairman of the board (the team was bankrupt in '99 and he bought it out of it). Jaromir Jagr, another person to hate, was paired up with Lemieux, literally, he stayed at his house (something that would happen again with another young player who you need to despise) and the pair would go on to help the Pens win a cup in the 90-91 season, and again in '91-'92. GUH. I can mention Lemieux getting diagnosed with Hodgkin's Disease (The only genuine moment in my life where I felt bad for the penguins) But then they are the reason why in 1996 The Florida Panthers made it to the stanley cup and making a mockery out of hockey. Fast Forward nine years and you have them drafting Sidney Crosby. Touted as the new face of the NHL, Crosby is universally reviled in outside fanbases. Personally, I'd like to see the guy thrown into a wood chipper. Cindy and the Pens won another stanley cup in the '08-'09 season. He is currently playing golf right now and watching the Flyers and Blackhawks play for one this season.
Next: Baltimore. America's Stabbinst City!
