Inner turmoil: Mango Salsa v. Roasted Garlic Hummus

I like dips. I'm into foods that are blended together into a paint to color my pallet in a delicious landscape that is flavor. I'm also at a crossroads. I'm unsure which is better. Mango Salsa is fucking delicious. whoever though to add a tropical fruit to a salsa mild in spice, was a genius. Optimally, The chip of choice would be a tostitos hint of lime tortilla chip. It's flavor allows for you to eat the salsa without the chip;s flavor overpowering it, but merely enhancing it with what one would be lead to believe is a missing ingredient. Mango salsa is the only salsa im convinced that one can either eat alone whilst working on a blog post, and as a party snack that helps as a conversation piece, normally no one mentions salsa at the party, it is a background food that blends in with the other chips and isn't even remembered after you take that first bite, but mango salsa, carries a sweet flavor that you do that eye squinting nod with a smile that says "you are in fact correct, this is good!"

Roasted Garlic Hummus is another dip entirely, the two beasts are like a polar bear and a Bengal Tiger, in nature they will never meet, the same can be said for roasted garlic hummus and mango salsa. hummus to the mass public is not a food that is well embraced, initially I was even unsure if mashed chickpeas would even be accepted by my tongue that serves as a preverbal tool booth operator to the highway that is my stomach, but I was soon convinced otherwise. Hummus ideally is served with pita chips, no frills though, the subtle tastes in hummus are thrown off by added effects like parmesan, tuscan herbs, or even more salt. Eating hummus does two things, either makes you sound like you are cultured and you are willing to try food from other cultures (bonus points if you've had falafel!) or you've got a beard and you have anxiety problems about other people (O hai!)

As promised, part one in Brad Newton's "Recipes for disaster for an appetite for destruction for the enlightened connoisseur of foods"

well, a while ago I posted that along with the usual ranting and raving I do on here, I'd start posting up recipes for foods that I enjoy. Today I submit for your approval: New York Maple Pepper Bacon with a Pennsylvania Lager Glaze.

What you'll need:

16 slices thick-cut bacon

1 cup honey

1 cup maple syrup

2 cups Yuengling Lager

2 Tbsp Dijon Mustard

2 Tbsp Mustard powder

3 Tbsp Pepper

The Process:

Preheat the oven to 300 degrees Place parchment paper on a sheet pan and lay the bacon strips on it. Cover with another sheet of parchment paper. Bake for 15 Min. while all that is going on combine honey and maple syrup and boil it until it caramelizes. Add the beer and cook it until it's volume is reduced by half (this may take 10 min) add both mustards. Take the bacon from the oven and pour the mixture over top of the strips. return it to the oven for another 10 min. place on a plate covered with a paper towel and serve.

Makes 4 servings. (that's 4 strips for 1 serving, fatasses)

Next Week: Brad's Famous Mushroom dip. and Cornflake Chicken Drumsticks