The Only Good Thing About Your City: Baltimore

We still making these? Cool, I guess.

Baltimore. Setting for one of the best TV shows of all time ("The Wire"). Home of two professional sports teams in the Ravens and Orioles. I've also got it on good authority that Baltimore has crabs.

National Football League (NFL)-

Baltimore Ravens- Going with the classic mantra of "one good deed deserves another" The Ravens were formed in 1996 after relocating from Cleveland (yeah, the Cleveland Browns didn't exist for three years, you can make the argument they still don't). Baltimore until the '96 season had been the hard luck case of the NFL after having the Colts leave them in the middle of the night in 1984. The Ravens are known mostly for their hard hitting defenses and their superbowl in in 2000 lead by Linebacker Ray Lewis and Running Back Jamal Lewis (their starting QB was Trent Dilfer, which proves that if anyone can win a super bowl if they have a future hall of fame running back behind them and all they really have to do is not fumble the snap and handoff). Also worth noting, RAY LEWIS STABBED AND KILLED A GUY.

Major League Baseball (MLB)-

Baltimore Orioles- Winners of three world series titles (most recently in 1983) The Orioles were once the team that had Cal Ripken Jr, they have since imploded into the worst team in the AL East. I mean, they're pretty bad, like, The Cleveland Show bad. They hired Buck Showalter as their manager before the all star break and managed them to a 31-21 record so, maybe, next season they'll just be mediocre rather than just outright bad.

There really would be more to this if I found either team the least bit interesting, but all I could really think about was making a bunch of Wire jokes and even those sounded bad when tied in with anything about the Ravens or Orioles.

Sunday NFL Countdown Drinking Game for October 3rd, 2010

Hey everyone, after a long hiatus ADM is back!. And in our first new weekly feature we're coming up with a drinking game for every week for either NFL sunday Countdown or ESPN College Gameday, and this week we're starting out at the professional level.

Drink- Every time they mention "Philly Fans" "Booing" and "Donovan McNabb" "Andy Reid (also eat a McGriddle)"

Jesus, can this story go away? Who cares if they boo him? Fans of any Philadelphia sports team don't really need much of an excuse to boo ANYTHING. Should they boo him? No, the most accomplished member of that franchise said before he was traded that he wanted to finish out his career there and at the end of the day it was fromt office decision (one that lead to them drafting NFL defensive rookie for the month of september Nate Allen). I also wouldn't blame anyone for booing him, His remarks that came out in the following months made it feel like he was pushed out the door (which, maybe he was) and making it seem like no one ever supported him during his tenure. Look, no one supported AJ Feeley, He sucked and was 3rd on the depth chart behind Koy Deitmer, You were the face of a franchise for a decade, even though a vocal minority of fans never had faith in you, there were a lot of us that did, and now that it's over, it's time to move on.

Drink- when they mention "Dez Bryant" "Dinner" "Rookie Hazing" and "Economy"

As was pointed out by ESPN's Adam Schefter, Dez Bryant's base Salary is 320,000, that dinner tab he paid for his teammates? $55,000. 17% of the money the guy knows he's gonna make that year? gone because some fat fuck linemen decided it was funny to make the rookie pay for it. Besides the fact that the guy has a 5-Year 11.8 million dollar contract (8.5 of which is guaranteed, which is something of a misnomer because there are no guaranteed contracts in the NFL and in all likelihood we're gonna be facing a lock-out next season) his contract is bonus heavy, I have the guy on my fantasy team, and a lot of you who may have drafted him will also know he's not doing anyone a lot of favors right now, including himself (158 yrds receiving and 0 TD's, if your league counts return yards and return TD's you're in a pussy league.)

Drink- at the mention of "Anquan Boldin" "Joe Flacco" "NFL Record"

I might be mentioning this because Boldin and I are both FSU alums. But last week he beat Marvin Harrison's mark for 600 career receptions by 4 games. You figure on average teams throw the ball about 20 times a game, and in Arizona he wasn't even the #1 target and missed several games because of that scary hit to the dome he took in '08 that resulted in him having a steel plate in his head while a member of the Buzzsaw that is the Arizona Cardinals, he could have theoretically done this last year. Now as a member of a team that for a lot of years was thought of as a run first team (Jamaal Lewis, Willis McGahee Ray Rice) him and Donte Stallworth are two weapons that make the Ravens a serious contender in the AFC again.

Drink- at the mention of "Garrett Hartley" "Matt Bryant" "John Carney" "Sean Peyton mistake" CHUG if- "Boomer shrugs when talking about kickers"

The Saints and Falcons game last week went into overtime where Garrett Hartley missed a 29-yard FG attempt, The Falcons then take possession, march downfield, line up for the field goal, field goal is blocked, however, Sean Peyton (the saints coach) attempted to "ice" the kicker and called a time out before the snap, Falcons line up again after the TO, Falcons are penalized for a false start, back up 5 yards, line up again, kick field goal, win game. That happened in the span of 30 seconds (of game clock, so 15 min real time).

and of course, at 10 pm on AMC there is the Mad Men Drinking Game.

Blind Item: Top 5 Beards from 2000-'10

Is there anything more manly than a beard? I mean, think of a lumberjack, the manliest thing on earth, I bet you conjured him up with a beard. Beards can be a sign of strength like when it comes to chuck norris. They can be a sign of wisdom like with Gandalf the Grey. They can be awkward like on any asian. They can also be the source of a persona like with Kyle Orton.

Kyle Orton: Master of the Neckbeard.

There have been many great beards throughout history: Jesus, Plato, Lincoln, Hemingway. But the next 5 beards are the best of the past decade.

5. Zach Galifianakis- I put him at 5 because he shaved it on SNL, but thanks to superior greek body hair it's already grown back to it's former glory, like some kind of follicle formed phoenix.

4. Gerard Butler (King Leonidas only)- When I saw 300 I did two things, punched the first persian person I found, and told myself I want a beard like that. God damn did that beard kick so much ass, I think that beard was 80% of the reason those Spartans lasted that long. That thing looks like it could deflect a direct hit from a spear.

3.Jayson Werth- Now, if you're gonna call a bias on this one, look at that beard, Werth looks like he should be storming a beach with bunch of vikings. Ian Lapierre gets and honorable mention for looking like a James Bond Villain with that bald head/playoff beard combo.

2. Rick Ross- Tha Boss, Ross' beard looks like Kimbo Slice's went to a barber. Slice would be on this list too, but I figured I'd only put down people who actually won in their respective trades.

1. Conan O'Brien- Coco's unemployment beard needs to make it to his new show come november, I mean, if the masturbating bear can't I don't see why the ginger beard can't either, maybe NBC has a Sitcom planned for it.

The Only Good Thing About Your City: Pittsburgh

I thought I wrote this before, evidently I'm wrong. It could be because I'm biased (haven't you noticed) towards my philly teams, but christ, I could seriously live without the mouth-breathers from "Pennsyl-tucky". I love Perogies though, so I'll play nice until the Penguins review anyway.

Pittsburgh is home to three pro sports teams (technically The Pirates do count).

National Football League (NFL)

Pittsburgh Steelers- Founded in 1933 The Steelers have 6 Super Bowl Championships. Chuck Noll was the coach from 1969 till 1992. That is mind boggling. Although, winning four Super Bowls sorta keeps your job secure. Sure, there was The Immaculate Reception, The Steel Curtain, Franco Harris, "Mean" Joe Green, and Terry Bradshaw's balding scalp. Jump past Bill Cower coaching the team for 13 years, The whole Jerome Bettis era, and jump to the here and now. The steelers have won two super bowls and have successfully beaten three assault charges brought on two of their star players, (Although, Santonio Holmes is now a Jet, he was still a Steeler at the time of the allegations) For all the things Ben Roethlisberger has done or has been accused of doing over the past few years (turning himself into a human torpedo into the windshield of a car, quite possibly groping two women) people just kinda laugh it off because it's Big Ben, the guy looks harmless, like you could give the guy a cookie and read him a bed time story, like you'd have to tell him to not eat paste, like he'd be a shoe in for a gold in any number of special olympics events, almost like the guy is a functioning retard.

Major League Baseball (MLB)

Pittsburgh Pirates- Having joined the majors in 1980 you shouldn't really be surprised to learn that The Pirates have in fact won a world series (I was!) five actually. 1909, 1925, 1960, 1971, 1979. Roberto Clemente was a Pirate from 1954 till 1972, having hit 3,000 hits in his career, he died in a plane crash, he was instantly added to the hall of fame. 1979 is memorable because of the use of "We Are Family" by Philadelphia (ed note: !) based disco group Sister Sledge. Any year since has been memorable, because teams circle games played vs The Pirates as games they really have no excuse for losing.

National Hockey League (NHL)

Pittsburgh Penguins- I seethe at the thought of this team, I get violently angry just thinking about them, Sidney Crosby and his stupid face, his overall "I'm entitled to be good at this game, fuck you, I'm gonna flop around and cry if I don't get my way because I'm the new face of the league" attitude. Anyways, Founded in 1967 as part of the league's initial expansion from the original six, to twelve teams, The Penguins really didn't get competitive (read: relevant) until the 1990's. In 1983 The Penguins drafted the most important play in their franchise's history, Mario Lemieux. Lemieux would play from 1983-94, 95-97, 2000-06. He's now the principal owner and chairman of the board (the team was bankrupt in '99 and he bought it out of it). Jaromir Jagr, another person to hate, was paired up with Lemieux, literally, he stayed at his house (something that would happen again with another young player who you need to despise) and the pair would go on to help the Pens win a cup in the 90-91 season, and again in '91-'92. GUH. I can mention Lemieux getting diagnosed with Hodgkin's Disease (The only genuine moment in my life where I felt bad for the penguins) But then they are the reason why in 1996 The Florida Panthers made it to the stanley cup and making a mockery out of hockey. Fast Forward nine years and you have them drafting Sidney Crosby. Touted as the new face of the NHL, Crosby is universally reviled in outside fanbases. Personally, I'd like to see the guy thrown into a wood chipper. Cindy and the Pens won another stanley cup in the '08-'09 season. He is currently playing golf right now and watching the Flyers and Blackhawks play for one this season.

Next: Baltimore. America's Stabbinst City!

What does it all mean?

I can remember watching the web series Red vs. Blue for the first time sometime in early 2005. The first episodes opens with two red team soldiers Simmons asking Grif "you ever wonder why we're here?" Grif goes on to misinterpret this as a question as to the meaning of life meanwhile all Simmons is wondering why command would place a squad in a box canyon with no strategic importance, other than the fact that the Blue team has a base in the same canyon, meanwhile Blue team only has a base in said canyon because Red team has a base in the canyon.

You are now privy to nearly every conversation every Soldier, Sailor, Airman, or Marine has ever had.

The military is a lot of things, it has taken me places I would have otherwise never been, met people who have changed my life both for better and worse, and has helped shown me who I am as a person, and for that I am eternally grateful. On that same hand it has taught me some harsh life lessons: Nothing is ever guaranteed; Nothing is ever handed out, but it is earned; There is nothing in life owed to you; Bad things can and will happen to good people.

Every Soldier, Sailor, Airman, and Marine deserves a handshake and a thank you, this is nothing new to anyone.

Anyone who is ever deployed to the Middle East will tell you that "you gain a new perspective on your own home after you spend a year here". This is true, when I came home on leave I was overwhelmed, Where I live (South Florida) is a concrete jungle, and coming from a barren desert to that takes a little adjusting, here at lovely Al Asad Airbase you can look up on any given night and see every star in the sky, breath fresh air, and find complete silence. Back home, I know exactly one place where at least 2/3rds of those things are true, that place is Lake Worth Beach. When I was home, I never once thought about the beach. I did however think about my bottle of Johnny Walker Blue, many bottles of New Castle, and a few pints of Young's Double Chocolate Stout. (not nearly as gay as it sounds). I spent a lot of money on a girl who wants nothing to do with me anymore. Sometimes I tell myself "If I could get a glass of scotch on a semi-regular basis here, I'd never leave".

I sometimes wonder about the daily life of the indigenous people here. There are honest and friendly people who live in this god-forsaken country. The population of the United States is 307,006,550 (as of 2009), the world's population is 6,697,254,041 (as of 2008). This means one in every 21 people will be born in the US. The daily grind of an American consists of waking up, drinking a cup of coffee, working for four hours, eat lunch, work another four hours come home, eat dinner, sleep, repeat. This sounds like a vacation (mostly because it is) compared to what most Iraqis would have to go through to earn an honest wage.

I always go back to a quote by a guy I admire who's name is Anthony Bourdain, many of you many know him as the host of "No Reservations" and as an Executive Chef at Brasserie Les Halles, when in reference to the world.

"It seems that the more places I see and experience, the bigger I realize the world to be. The more I become aware of, the more I realize how relatively little I know of it, how many places I have still to go, how much more there is to learn. Maybe that's enlightenment enough - to know that there is no final resting place of the mind, no moment of smug clarity. Perhaps wisdom, at least for me, means realizing how small I am, and unwise, and how far I have yet to go."

The guy was at Macchu Piccu when he said that. Holy Shit, having a moment for personal inflection while being in such a scenic area such as that is mind bending. I can think of only one reason why anyone would trigger self inflection, and that would be when self growth is triggered. One is voluntarily, the other is involuntary. The thing that bothers me is that there are people so content with living vapid, meaningless existences, who either don't bother to engage in the voluntarily or have the capacity to trigger the involuntarily.

The End of an Era

Number 5 is now a Washington Redskin. I never thought I'd see Donovan wear any other color than midnight green and black for the rest of his career, Burgundy and gold are his new threads though and the world moves on. I grew up in the McNabb-Reid era. I was too young to really remember the Buddy Ryan-Randall Cunningham days. I was a sophomore in high school in 2004 ( the most recent year the eagles made it to the super bowl) I remember I was on a bus heading home from Birmingham, Alabama coming home from my JROTC's Drill competition.

I grew up in a team that at one point had a three headed monster of a back field with Duce Staley, Corell Buckhalter, and Brian Westbrook our Wide outs were James Thrash and Todd Pinkston and in the slot we used Freddie "I love my hands" Mitchell. None of these guys are on the team anymore. The only constant for the past decade when it has come to the Eagles has been Donovan. This year's offense seems to be the best offense the iggles have had in years, no injury concerns to our running backs, a shored up Wide Reciever corps, an O-line that finally has seen some stability, and now, we discard the leader.

I remember back in 2000 my mom bought me a black McNabb jersey, I didn't want to take the thing off. My dad told me that he doesn't buy jerseys anymore because no one seems to stick around anymore. (This was because he owns a Flyers Eric Lindross jersey and gets boo'd whenever he wore it to a game.) Two years ago for his birthday I bought him a Brian Westbrook jersey. We Eagles fans never stop to think that these guys will ever leave. We want them to die wearing the wings on their helmets.

Kevin Kolb is the new Quarterback, Kolb threw for 300+ yards in both starts he made during the season when McNabb was injured and was named NFC player of the week in his 2nd start. Seeing #4 behind center on the first game of the season will take a little getting used to, then again so was seeing Brian Dawkins wear a Denver Broncos uni.

People grow attached to sports figures because they view them as representatives of themselves . McNabb had that smile in the huddle and the goofy celebrations that made you adore him, Despite constant critisism and people calling for his job, he kept his cool, never once going out and throwing anyone under the bus or complaining about everyone else besides himself. Donovan has acted as a professional throughout his tenure.

Even though Donovan never won the eagles a super bowl, he's still the most dynamic figure in the team's history, the legacy he leaves with this town is that of someone who could have jumped the ship when things started heading south, but stayed onboard and helped the team get back on track. When The Eagles play the Redskins during a monday night football game on October 26th, expect me to wear my #5 jersey even though his will be a different color, he's always gonna be an Eagle.

2009 College Football summed up in 10 words

Bradford's shoulder. Bobby's Career. Urban's heart. Ingram's power. Carrol's wallet.